Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fox News. Show all posts

Saturday, January 8, 2022

Chapter 1: Section 6: Page 50: Line 100 (894)

 There was a kind of general assumption around the shop that laboring men and women were all more or less evil, surely misguided, and not quite American, maybe not quite human.

* * * * * * * * * *

This is what is called othering people. You delude yourself (and others) into thinking a person is sub-human or evil so that whatever you do to them can be ethically justified. It's what Fox News and right wing talk radio have done to liberals and why so many Conservatives truly believe that they'd be justified in running over or shooting anybody protesting for equality in this country.
    Now, you might think, "Oh look. You're othering Conservatives!" But here's the thing: I see the way they act and guess what? I still want this country to be a better place so that they can also partake in it. Why they want to make the world worse for so many people, I'll never understand. But if we make the country and the world better, everybody will benefit. Us liberals aren't just out here trying to make a grand paradise just for ourselves. We want all y'all conservatives to realize you don't have to be so angry all the time. Chill out, man! Stop listening to those yogurt-brained motherfuckers on the AM dial!

Thursday, February 18, 2021

Chapter 1: Section 3: Page 25: Line 83 (368)

 "Of what exactly would our services consist?"

* * * * * * * * * *

Randolph already knows that the boys will be used as spies in the air, keeping an eye out for any trouble during the Fair but now he needs specifics to look our for. "Trouble" almost certainly means "union activity." But I'm sure Nate will have a nice euphemism for it, like "anarchism" or "terrorism" or "socialism" or "left-wingism" or "cancel culturism" or "antifa-ism" or "social justicism" or "wokism." You know, anything that capitalists realize they have no real control over so they need to paint it in a negative light for their moronic, sycophantic followers who are so bored with their own lives that they need the dopamine spikes that come with being angry at anybody different than themselves.

I'm sure Slothrop had some Proverb for Paranoids that covered this Fox News shit.

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Chapter 1: Section 3: Page 23: Line 34 (319)

"Come over here, boys, first time for free, find the red get a pat on the head, find the black, get nothing back!" cried a cheerful Negro in a "pork-pie" hat, who was standing behind a folding table nearby, setting down and picking up playing cards.

* * * * * * * * * *

 Normally I'd find a picture of the clothing mentioned in the text and post it here but I think everybody knows what a pork-pie hat looks like (and if they don't, they certainly know how to use an online search engine). I used Google to take a look at pork-pie hats and now I know something I probably didn't want to know: hipsters love this thing, don't they? Is it because it goes well with old timey beards and waxed mustaches and hoping that looking dapper can compensate for your boring personality?

Another thing I learned is that Google reads "pork-pie hat" in the search bar and goes, "Oh? You wanted pictures of hats? I have lots and lots of them! I have fedoras and bowlers and straw boating hats and pork-pie hats too! Take your pick!"

At first I typed "Take your pic!" and I guess that would have worked as well.

This Negro is attempting to get the kids to engage in a little Three-card Monte. As we are all Internet denizens here, we all know that this is a game in which it is impossible to win. It's a scam. It's a cheat. It's America at its best! The dealer puts three cards face down and mixes them up. The bettor needs to find the red card, usually the queen of hearts, to win. But the bettor can never find that card due to sleight-of-hand or other shenanigans. And if the bettor somehow accidentally finds the right card, the dealer will employ some other method of cheating, like running away really fast or blackjacking the bettor in the face. It's one of the universe's most stringent and natural of laws: the house always wins.

"find the red get a pat on the head"
I mean, I'd hope that I'd get something better! Like a couple of bucks or something. How about this come along, sir: "Find the black, get nothing back! Find the red, get a dollar instead!" Pretty good, right?! I think I might be a natural at this game!

"cheerful Negro in a "pork-pie" hat"
I bet he had a toothpick between his lips too! And I bet he was handsome! And he probably winked a few times too in a really jolly and charismatic way! Man, I'd play some Three-card Monte with this fellow!

My friend Sal whom I met in elementary school once observed a guy doing Three-card Monte while we were out roaming around somewhere as teenagers. He was really watching the guy and telling us, "Dudes. I can totally beat that guy. I know where the red card is every time!" And we were all, "Sal. It's a scam. You won't win." And he was all, "No, no. I've got this! I can totally beat him!" And then Sal lost like ten bucks and we were all, "See, you stupid idiot!"
    I told you that story to tell you this one: Sal is now a huge Fox News viewer.