"I have only tripped over one of these picnic baskets," called out Handyman Apprentice Miles Blundell, "the one all the crockery was in, 's what it looks like. . . . I guess I didn't see it, Professor."
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Here we come to the place that will divide readership into two groups: those who think my numbering system is way off and the correct people who don't. I've been meaning to discuss how easy it's going to be to mess up the numbering system on the sentences just from simple human error (that's the kind of error made by a simple human like me) but I hadn't thought about an encounter with a full stop after an ellipsis. Based on every grammatical rule I've pretended to have read in the past, that's the end of a sentence. I mean, it's obvious, right? The period is just a normal period coming at the end of the ellipsis. They're obviously two separate pieces of punctuation that just happen to look like they're part of the same punctuation. I don't even know why I'm spending so much time discussing it! What am I? A style manual?! Boring!
Why even bring it up, right?! If it weren't the end of a sentence it would just be an ellipsis and then more words! Sheesh! You know what this rambling on defensively about an obvious decision that nearly nobody would argue is all about, right? It's about writing something on the Internet! You're constantly thinking of what people are going to attack you for so you're constantly pre-defending every single statement you make! I say "you" when what I really mean is "me" but also maybe think I mean "we"?
You know what? Forget all that! Let's get to Miles!
Years of terrible tropes in media of clumsy characters now has me picturing Miles Blundell as the fat kid. Right? The fat kid is never graceful or sharp dressed or sexually intimidating! The fat kid is always just clumsy and eating desserts. Like every scene, the kids will be racing down a forgotten mine shaft being chased by aliens and the fat kid is all, "Hang on! I keep tripping over my licorice rope!" Pretty sure Pynchon expects us to have been pre-programmed with this visual since Miles is clumsy, trips over picnic baskets, and is named Blundell. That name's almost as indicative of a fat kid as Gravy Jones.
That's a picture of my cat Gravy. She was offended when Pierce on Community suggested Gravy Jones was the name of a fat girl. Wook at how dwainty she wis! Oh she's so coot!
Who is Professor? Is that Miles nickname for Randolph or is Miles somehow in communication with some Professor somewhere who hasn't been introduced yet. Maybe Miles is like Firestorm and he has a Professor living inside of his head! No, that's ridiculous and Pynchon never introduces anything ridiculous into his novels! Ha ha! That's funny if you've read any Thomas Pynchon!
I actually think it was this particular moment where crockery was mentioned that I picked up The Hobbit to re-read. Which I finished in two days proving that I can read a lot faster than I think I can and forces me to ask, "What's taking you so long reading all these Pynchon novels?!" I'm afraid to answer that question because the answer might be "Because you're a big dumb idiot, jerk."