"What I am really looking for in Chicago," the Archduke finally got around to confessing, "is something new and interesting to kill. At home we kill boars, bears, stags, the usual—while here in America, so I am told, are enormous herds of bison, ja?"
* * * * * * * * * *
Seems odd that the Archduke is looking in a city for something "new and interesting" to kill. He's obviously just looking for sex, mostly, and something to kill, leastly. Unless, of course, "heard of bison" is a euphemism for "man" in the way "learn about foreign peoples" is a euphemism for "fuck them." In America, anything can be bought or sold (up to and including people until just a few decades previous) which means somebody, somewhere, in this great land is selling the opportunity to hunt the most dangerous animal (which is man and not bison). If he really wanted some exotic game to kill (that wasn't obviously people), Ferdinand would have gone to Africa or India. Go kill a tiger or an elephant the way tacky rich Americans do when their hearts (and their penises) are incredibly small and/or dead.
According to the Internet, less than 100 bison were left by the late 1880s. That's probably why Archduke Ferdinand has a boner for killing one (also his boner is because he's horny but this is a different kind of boner).
What do you think happened to the guy who killed the last Passenger Pigeon? Do you think he felt remorse? Excitement? Apathy? I like to think he was excited at first but then as the years went by and nobody else bagged a Passenger Pigeon, he began to realize what he had done and he extincted himself with the same shotgun.