"Hershel, I don't know how I'm supposed to tip you."
* * * * * * * * * *
Well, Lew, when in Rome!
I'm not sure if that was a joke or not. Is it a play on Romans giving blow jobs in exchange for goods and services? Because if that was a thing (I think that was a thing in the HBO series Rome), that could be the joke. And also if that is a historical fact, then I'm really giggling about Jesus saying, "Render unto Caesar what is Caesars." Because that's sort of like saying, "When in Rome!"
But the problem is "When in Rome!" just means "Do things you normally wouldn't do when at home, as long as they're things that the locals commonly do, not suddenly become a serial killer or set buildings on fire." But I suppose because the Romans are practically interchangeable with the Greeks to morons like me, "When in Rome" just makes me think I should engage in sodomy when in Rome. Which is just a terrible thing to think, especially when I know for absolute fact that it's the Persians who were known for sodomy, according to one of Richard Francis Burton's endnotes in his translation of The Book of One Thousand Nights and a Night." The exact quote is offensive on many fronts but I'll quote it here so you know I'm only believing terrible things that famous people said a long time ago: "'Ghilman' are beautiful youths appointed to serve the True Believers in Paradise. The Koran says, 'Youths, which shall continue in their bloom for ever, shall go round about to attend them with goblets, and beakers, and a cup of flowing wine,' etc. Mohammad was an Arab (not a Persian, a born pederast) and he was too fond of women to be charged with love of boys: even Tristram Shandy knew that the two tastes are incompatible. But this and other passages in the Koran have given the Chevaliers de la Pallie a hint that the use of boys, like that of wine, here forbidden, will be permitted in Paradise."
I mean, egad, amirite?! But he does mention Tristram Shandy so that's pretty postmodern, right?!
No comments:
Post a Comment