"Something about . . . your . . . wait . . . deine Mutti, as you would say, your . . . your mama, she plays third base for the Chicago White Stockings, nicht wahr?" as customers begin tentatively to move toward the egresses, "a quite unappealing woman, indeed she is so fat, that to get from her tits to her ass, one has to take the 'El'! Tried once to get into the Exposition, they say, no, no, lady, this is the World's Fair, not the World's Ugly!"
* * * * * * * * * *
How'd Archduke Ferdinand become familiar with the game of dozens? He pulls some pretty standard dozens insults here: your mom has a masculine job, your mom is fat, your mom is ugly.
I never understood that this sort of adolescent behavior was a contest so I always lost because I'd walk away upset after being insulted. Here are a few that were used on me in junior high school:
"Your mother wears combat boots." (Pretty standard in the era in which I grew up. I don't think it was just a local Bay Area traditional dozens move to indicate your mom was a lesbian. But maybe?)
"Your sister jerked me off in the bushes behind the school." (This one was too specific to be a random insult and maybe it was just some kid my sister jerked off catching me up on some local facts.)
"How many skinny people can fit in a shower? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain." (No, wait. That was a Garfield strip.)
"Your cousin Jason is the son I never had." (I don't know why my mother wanted to play the dozens with me but it kind of hurt.)
Normally, a game of dozens takes place between two people who understand that they're engaging in some mutual ball busting. What Archduke Ferdinand is doing here isn't really a game of dozens. It's being a racist asshole. He's being the guy at the bar who purposefully bumps into other guys so that when they mouth off, he feels he has an excuse to beat their ass. Archduke is just looking for an excuse to kill somebody, and he's doing it among the local Black population because the Chicago police probably won't give a shit.
No comments:
Post a Comment