A rolled umbrella dented a bowler hat, words were exchanged.
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Fucking umbrella wielders. Back in college, for an assignment to write an argumentative essay, I wrote about how terrible umbrellas and their wielders were. The professor actually thanked me for writing a humorous essay because everybody always took writing essays as an exercise in serious business.
Just to clarify for the horrible people who carry their umbrellas everywhere: I'm not against the use of umbrellas. Just like I'm not against dogs. But, in general, umbrella wielders and dog owners are unbearable people.
Just to clarify: I'm being hyperbolic and facetious. If you love poking people in the eye with your umbrella while diverting water from your head to the shoulders of those around you, or you love letting your dog run around off-leash while constantly screaming at frightened people, "Don't worry! He doesn't bite! He's friendly!" then don't let me dissuade you! Go for it! Be the best jerk you can be!
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