"This cannot be," he muttered. "Small children hate me."
* * * * * * * * * *
It isn't just small children, Noseworthy.
Here's why small children hate Lindsay: he's a control freak. It's why he's the master-at-arms of the ship. He loves rules because he fears chaos. If all rules are being followed, nothing bad can transpire. And who are the worst, most chaotic creatures? Small children. So Lindsay almost certainly ruins all of the fun being had by any children in his vicinity by shutting down whatever game they're playing due to rules and regulations not permitting their gambits and gambols. But this kid has just met him so she's interested! Especially since he was acting like such a clown over Merle's alcohol joke.
Have I mentioned previously how the name "Noseworthy" suggests a brown-noser? I probably did!
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