It had been a night of sleepless precaution lest sparks from the torches of the mob drift anywhere near the hydrogen-generating apparatus and devastation result.
* * * * * * * * * *
If I knew a guy and I was all, "I sure could use a torch later," and he whipped me up a torch, I would totally suspect he was a racist jerk. Also why would I need a torch later? Is it the end times and part of Judgment Day that wasn't encoded in Revelations was that batteries would stop working and also I was too lazy to use my hand crank flashlight? But that's kind of the point! If a guy knows how to make a torch that isn't just trying to light the end of a dry branch with a Zippo, he's got some fucking secrets that maybe I don't want to know about.
Although at this point in history, I'm fairly confident that nearly all Republicans know how to make torches. No wait! I take that back. Nearly nobody knows how to make torches anymore which is why all those racists trying to save statues of Confederate officers went to Lowe's and bought out all the tiki torches.
Can you imagine somebody trying to save statues of Confederate officers using the excuse that destroying them is destroying history without knowing the actual history of why those statues were erected and when? The nerve of some racist asshole telling everybody that these statues tell some kind of historical story that isn't just "a bunch of scared white assholes decided to erect these statues in the face of civil rights movements as a means to intimidate Black Americans." Confederate officer statues are the sculpture equivalent of a dog pissing on a tree. History? More like pisstory!
Yes. You really nailed the landing on this entry, Me!
No wait! I forgot to discuss the line! Um, well, you see, all the Chums were nervous not just because the KKK, a bunch of villainous violent thugs, were surrounding their encampment but also because they had torches and the most famous thing about hydrogen is that it likes to react with oxygen especially around fire because it's an, um, oxidizer or something. So this line is meant to make the readers think of the Hindenburg and then to think "Oh the humanity" which leads them to thinking about humanity and how the Chums of Chance probably aren't human at all but angels or ghosts or aliens and also a dog.
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